A lot of things are said about Japan (a lot of ignorant, inaccurate obscene things, as well as a lot of very thoroughly researched accurate obscene things), but If there's one thing Japan knows how to do right it's instant noodles.
From ramen to yakisoba (basically Japanese chow mein for those not in the know), they have an almost impossibly wide variety of all things instant, and they're all usually delicious as well, an important trait they seem to throw out when they make the import to America for whatever reason.
Last Summer my friend came back from a trip to Japan bearing gifts from her sister who is also a friend of mine. Amongst various snacks such as chocolate covered and cheese covered soy sauce rice crackers, which were tastier than that sounds, she also included a popular brand of yakisoba called Peyangu (ペヤング). This was different from their normal flavor, as it had the words "spiciness level MAX" sprawled under their logo. Now, when a Japanese food product is labeled spicy they are usually anything but. Japanese like their food salty, sometimes sweet, but you will rarely find anything that is truly spicy. That's just not their thing. Koreans do spicy. Thais do spicy. Japanese do NOT do spicy.
And if anyone mentions wasabi to me, I will throat chop them. Wasabi is not spicy. Wasabi, as Wikipedia accurately points out, stimulates the nasal passages more than the tongue. Whenever someone in an western TV show and/or movie eats wasabi they wave air on their tongue and immediately go for the water. That is wildly inaccurate and makes me shake with fury as I imagine reaching into the television and strangling the writers to death while rubbing wasabi into their eyes.
I digress.
Anyway, as I'm not accustomed to Japanese food actually being spicy, I was skeptical and dismissed the "MAX", written all in caps, in English even, warning me to be careful, and prepared it as instructed on the package and partook of the instant noodle snack.
Now, I don't believe in the devil, but if he does indeed exist and is a fan of Japan, this is his go to Japanese snack of choice.
 |
| As it is displayed on the shelves of various Japanese convenient stores... in HELL! |
I was quite lucky that I ate this a couple of days before my own trip to Japan, because had I eaten this the day of, I would have definitely missed my flight. The effects of the yakisoba didn't take place until the day after consumption, but when they did I was in for the fight of my life, as it lit my bathroom, and my rectum, ablaze. To hell with TMI, you will know my pain.
On that trip to Japan, I visited a book store known for strange and unusual and sometimes jokey products, as well as books, called Village Vanguard. When I went there I saw this particular flavor of Peyang displayed and wondered if my friend hadn't intentionally played an awful and heinous trick on me.
 |
| So evil, only Empirical Storm Troopers there have licenses to sell it. |
My final assessment: if you like, no, LOVE spicy foods and don't mind not being to taste anything other than said spiciness, and you love yakisoba then give it a try. Your belly, your tongue and rectum will hate you for it, but your heart will... no, actually that will hate you, too.
Four stars. One star off for destroying my innards. :(